So, it's 11 p.m. on the night before my first day back to work after having a wonderful 12 weeks off with our little peanut, and I'm pretty nervous and sad to go back. I can't even explain how I'm feeling, but let's just say that I have knots in my stomach and have already cried a few times today thinking about the fact that my day will be spent in an office instead of spending time with Devin.
I always thought that 12 weeks was such a long time and that I would be more than ready to go back to work. But, I don't quite feel that way. I mean, on one hand, I am looking forward to seeing everyone at work and getting some intellectual stimulation, but, on the other, I am going to miss my little guy more than anything. Seeing him change and grow over the past three months has been indescribable, and I know that the best is yet to come.
Knowing that I miss being there for some of his milestones stinks, but I know he's going to be in great hands while I'm away at work. Between Vikas, his mom, my mom and me, we're going to be able to avoid daycare and the adjustment that comes with it, at least for the next few months. I definitely want Devin to go to daycare at some point to gain important social skills, just not yet. So, like I said, I know Devin will be just fine . . . he probably won't even notice that I'm gone :-( . I just worry not only that I'm going to miss being with him all the time, but also that I won't be able to juggle being a lawyer and a mom and won't be able to give 150% to both.
But, it is what it is, and I have to do what I have to do. I'm sure it'll be a huge adjustment, but we'll get through it (I hope). People have told me that the anticipation of going back to work is much worse than the reality of it. Hopefully they are right. I'll let you know. Wish me luck :-)
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